


Was It Really Love?

by thecompletebookworm



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, Rumbelle Secret Santa 2014, Skin Deep Alternate Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-16
Updated: 2015-04-16
Packaged: 2018-03-23 05:01:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3755395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecompletebookworm/pseuds/thecompletebookworm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Slight Skin Deep AU What if Belle never met Regina on the road?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Was It Really Love?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [crankynerdgirl](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=crankynerdgirl).



> Prompt: Pablo Neruda Love Sonnet XVII

She knew love wasn’t supposed to be like this.  Or at least she thought love wasn’t supposed to be like this.  In books, it was sudden, almost instantaneous.  One second you were without it and then your world was forever changed.  But that couldn’t be right.  Belle had been living with the man for months and while her life had changed forever, it definitely wasn’t because of love.

Her mother had said that one day someone would come into her life and she wouldn’t want to never be without them.  That at least sounded more logical.  Belle glanced at the room she was supposed to be dusting.  She didn’t want to be without Rumplestiltskin and she almost giggled at that.  Rumplestiltskin was a man many regarded as a monster.  Papa would have a heart attack.  

But was it really love?

Belle loved how he could make her laugh and the little smile he made as if he had surprised himself too.  She loved the little things he did when he thought she wasn’t looking.  Belle wasn’t stupid.  She knew he had charmed the floor to clean itself. 

She’d spilled some tea one day and by the time she got back with the mop, the floor was already sparkling.   He didn’t need her there but he kept her anyway.  That should make her livid, make her throw her arms up and demand to be taken back to Avonlea, but it didn’t.  It made her heart flutter and her mind soar.  

So she loved him, that meant nothing.  Belle moved a little glass bird in his cabinet.  She could think about him and crave their interactions, but that didn’t change their situation.  A voice in her head that sounded surprisingly like Papa whispered,  “You’re still a prisoner here." 

The castle didn’t feel like a prison.  It felt more like home than anywhere else had since Mother had died.   Belle could wander anywhere she pleased.  She had a library and a garden.  She was practically Mistress of the Castle since he was away on business most days. 

It was the second set of words that made her anxious.  "He’ll never look at you the same way." 

Rumplestiltskin was a man, despite his assurances otherwise, that liked things in a way he understood them, in a predictable manner.  Even if love was still a mystery to her, Belle knew it was anything but predictable. 

* * *

"Oh, no. I expect I’ll never see you again.” His words echoed in her hear as she walked away from the castle.  Those were the last words he said to her.  He fetched her cloak for her and a basket, but he didn’t say another word.  

She had been so sure that she would just walk away from it all, away from the castle with it’s mystery, adventure and possibility of love.  She would walk away without regretting anything, except possibly not taking advantage of all the books in the library. 

But now, Belle shivered.  The shadows appeared to be growing longer.  Everywhere seemed to look the same now.  Just the path, surrounded by all the trees.  She hadn’t seen a single person since she had left the castle.  She had known the castle had been isolated, but with the amount of visitors Rumple received, she expected the village to be closer. 

Did she really want to leave?  He had expected her to and she had felt a thrill run through her at the thought of seeing Avonlea again.  But that thrill lessened as Belle walked on.  It could just be the dark.  It was causing her to not think clearly.  She couldn’t let herself believe it could be more than that.  

Belle could see his face grow solemn in her head.  She saw the resigned way he clenched his hands and turned as she left the room.  His pace had been slower than normal as if he was still listening for her footsteps. 

Maybe she should just rest.   She was exhausted.  Even her cloak felt like it was heavier than usual.  Belle wrapped her arms around her and left the path.  She found a tree stump and practically dropped onto it, the handle of the basket slipping from her hands as she did so. Belle readjusted the cloak, trying to get even a little more comfortable.  Running her hands over the fabric, her fingers caught on a pocket that had certainly not been there before.  Belle reached in and pulled her hand back in shock as she felt something familiar. 

Gold Thread.  Strands of gold so thin they could only be spun by a wheel, his wheel. 

He would say it was simply payment for the straw.  She doubted it.  Everyone knew of him.  The villagers would likely have handed her the best straw for no charge just to escape his wrath.  So why had he given her gold?

Belle brought the strands to her face, searching for the scent of anything familiar. The gold had a metallic tang to it that made her wrinkle her nose, but that was it.  It couldn’t possibly smell like him, like tea, straw and something almost like smoke, that she could only really describe as magic. The gold wasn’t warm like a fresh batch would be.  She twirled it between her fingers. 

Belle had loved watching him spin.  He would get this faraway look in his eyes.  He said he “spun to forget” and maybe that was true, because he seemed lighter, happier, and the smile she loved best would appear on his face.  

There had been many nights where they had sat in that room, him with his wheel, her with a book.  It had been comforting.  The fire had crackled merrily and most nights not a word was said.  Belle had been happy just being there, being close to him. 

Maybe leaving was a bad idea.  

Belle stared at the gold in her hand once more.  She wrapped it around her wrist.  She hadn’t been a prisoner at the Dark Castle.  She hadn’t been a prisoner since the first month or so.  After Robin Hood, everything had changed.  He had given her the library, her own room, practically an entire tower to use however she pleased, and dresses that reminded her so much of home.  He had brought back little gifts from his travels, extravagant trinkets from all over the world, and he would hand them to her bashfully. 

Rumplestiltskin still had his harsh words, but he had been sweet at times.  He had worried over every one of her little injuries. (She could certainly be clumsy).  But despite his worrying, he had treated her as an equal.  Belle had been free to say absolutely anything.  Even Papa had worried that her loose tongue would prevent her from minding a suitor or that she had no business making decisions about things as gruesome as war.  Papa had wanted to keep her ignorant, although innocent would have been the word he would choose.   Rumplestiltskin would comment playfully on almost any topic she brought up, sometimes encouraging her to explore certain books.  He had only ever avoided subjects of his past and of children, but with her discovery of the small clothes that didn’t seem so odd anymore. 

Rumplestiltskin had been endearing.  He tried so hard not for her to notice but he’d occasional look at her like she was a miracle.  And now her heart was fluttering and he was miles away in his castle, back the way she had already came. 

Did that mean it was love?  She couldn’t get him out of her head.  

Was it possible for a man such as him to love her in return?  She smiled as she envisioned him once again presenting her with her rose.  Now, Belle was the first to admit she didn’t know much about love, but she supposed he certainly could. 

She’d show him.  She’d be back with his straw and maybe in time she’d be able to do more than just contemplate love.  But for now, she was going to sleep. 

The sun was high overhead when Belle awoke.  It had to be almost noon. She stretched her arms above her head and then rolled her shoulders, trying to rid herself of the aches of sleeping on the ground in the forest.  It was later than she would have liked, but it didn’t matter now. 

Even if all her thoughts last night had been driven by exhaustion, they were no less true.  She loved Rumplestiltskin and by the way he acted, he certainly loved her too.  Belle was no longer fleeing.  There was no longer the need to rush afraid that he would change his mind any instant.  Belle allowed herself to wander slightly further from the path.  She could hear the slight gurgling of a stream.  She might as well refresh herself before continuing. 

Belle gleefully ran her hands through the cold water.  This was nice. Belle sat down on the bank just long enough to remove her shoes and stocking.  She threw them haphazardly on the bank before she walked into the running stream allowing the water to soothe her aching feet.  There was still more walking to be done.  She had no idea how much farther the village was.  Belle frolicked in the water only a little while longer. 

When she heard the sound of a carriage, she finally stepped out.  Belle made no move to rush back to the road, instead simply settling to pull on her discarded shoes.  The carriage was likely headed in the direction of the Dark Castle.  Even if it was inclined to give a ruffian a ride, it would not take her where she needed to go. 

If Rumplestiltskin was going to dance around her, never truly communicating what he wanted, she could play that same game.  She would give him his straw and they could continue.  Belle wasn’t even entirely sure what she wanted.  There was no protocol for this. Maidens were supposed to be rescued by monsters, not fall in love with them.

Belle would have to write her own story and she wanted all the facts first.  That meant straw, then story, then hopefully happy ending. 

Belle waited at the edge of the trees before stepping out on the road. The carriage had also meant that the village had to be close. 

* * *

Belle paused at the gate.  She changed the basket from one side of her body to the other.  This wasn’t so hard.  She just needed to walk these few steps back inside, back home. 

It was what they both wanted, but were to scared to voice with anything other than small gestures.  Belle touched the strand of gold still wrapped around her wrist. She had always wanted to brave.  There was no better time to try.  Heroines always did the brave thing in her books.  They were always able to do the brave thing for love. 

Do the brave thing.

Belle took a deep breath and continued.  Once inside, she couldn’t help herself, she began running down the hall to the room she knew he had to be in.  Belle paused just outside the door and tried smoothing her skirts and slowing her breath.  She could do this.  Belle took off her cloak and threw it over her arm.  She rubbed her thread of gold for luck. 

Everything was going to be alright. 

She walked quickly across the room, knowing it was the only way to maintain her confidence. 

“Oh, you’re back already. Good. Good thing. I’m, uh… I’m nearly out of straw.”

She couldn’t contain her smile as she set her basket down.    “Come on, you’re happy that I’m back." 

Rumplestiltskin stared at her between the rungs almost as if he was afraid she’d disappear.  Well, that she decided was never going to happen.  She had promised forever to this silly little man.

His mouth quirked in a half smile.  She knew exactly what he wasn’t saying when he stared at her and muttered, "I’m not unhappy." 

Belle needed to be closer to him.  She casually walked around the wheel, perching herself on the stool closer than she normally dared.  She had almost left, walked away to never see him again.  Even if this didn’t last, Belle could have this. She could sit close touching just enough that her nursemaids would have scolded her for her forwardness.  She could lean forward so that she could stare into his mesmerizing eyes, not quite human but not unsettling either. 

Belle needed something to focus on.  He would worry something was wrong if she just stared at him like she wanted.  Belle wasn’t sure how he would react to her newfound emotions, probably make some quip about not letting monsters take advantage.  Maybe one day she’d be able to look at him and say the words "I love you”, but until then she would continue with their dance of avoidance. 

“You promised me a story."  It was a reasonable request. He had promised and Papa would have demanded she know her suitor thoroughly before making any rash decisions. (Only Papa would refer to love as a rash decision as if it were something that could usually be controlled.  The idea that Papa would even consider Rumplestiltskin as a suitor was laughable.) 

"Did I?"  He asked distractedly.  She took the opportunity to move his thread away from him.  This one conversation that demanded both their full attention. 

"Tell me about your son.”  

He paused obviously unsure of what to say.  Belle waited patiently as he stuttered out a response.  “I lost him. There’s nothing more to tell, really." 

Of course there was more to tell her mind shouted.  What did he mean by lost?  Was it some sort of metaphor?  Could the boy be dead or estranged?  Or did he really mean lost? But she could see his broken face and knew those weren’t the questions to ask. "But you’ve been alone all this time?”

“I like being alone,” he offered in a way that called for his over the top lighthearted voice, but he couldn’t muster it.  Instead the words sounded broken. 

Belle tried to contain her look, the one she would usually use in times like this, a scolding I-know-you better look.  Now was not the time.   "No one likes being alone,” She took a deep breath before continuing.  He had always been far better at avoiding talk of their emotions than she had.  “We need the ones we love to make us stronger.”  

Rumplestiltskin peered at her curiously.  “Why did you come back?" 

Belle wasn’t sure how to answer that.  Love.  She had come back because her heart wouldn’t have allowed her to be completely happy somewhere else, but that answer would scare him.  It scared her a little too if she was honest with herself.  How could her life revolve so completely around someone else? 

"I promised forever,” she smiled hoping that maybe that would convey the message she couldn’t say out loud yet.  "I thought you never broke your deals." 

She hadn’t expected him to force his lips into a line and close his eyes in obvious pain.  "I suppose there is more to that story." 

They sat there snuggled together against the wheel and he talked, telling the story of a man that had once been and a child that would be again. Rumplestiltskin plowed through it as if he could make the happy ending come sooner.   Belle noticed he stuttered at certain parts, glancing at her, before continuing his voice slightly higher than before. There would be other parts where his face would light up as he described his son’s childish adventures around their village. There were little gaps in his narrative but Belle was thankful for the gift he was giving her.  

"I could help.  I’m sure there’s something in that library of yours.”

The bench nearly buckled in his attempt to stand up.  “Do you think I haven’t already tried that? I have spent more years researching than you have been alive!" 

Belle reached out and put her hand on his shoulder.  She was relieved when he didn’t shrug it off.  "My mother always used to say ‘Different eyes see different details.'  There might be something that you missed.”  

“I don’t have time to spare explaining rudimentary magic to you, let alone the complexity needed to complete the curse." 

Belle tapped her foot.  "I didn’t say anything about helping with the curse.  I would only get in the way, and besides I’m sure there are ways that don’t involve destroying an entire kingdom." 

This time he did pull away.  "If you want to read in those little books of yours, be my guest, but I will find my son with or without your approval. There’s no need for you to play the hero."  Rumplestiltskin poofed away, the manner typically reserved for undesirable company.  Belle coughed as the purple smoke cleared.  She didn’t want to be a hero, at least not now.  She wanted to find his son because he was hurting and for some reason her heart was aching too. 

* * *

Belle swung her legs as she sat on the countertop, trying to wait as patiently as possible.  Rumplestiltskin stared intently at one of the cauldrons, an old silver one that really needed to be washed.    The thick purple goo splashed once again over the edge.  He added a handful of roots before stirring it carefully, exactly 22 counterclockwise stirs.  It glowed a vivid orange before he threw in a handful of the beetle eyes. 

Rumplestiltskin took a few steps backward so he could clasp her hand, his eyes never leaving the potion. They held their breath.  If all went well, the potion would turn a deep brown.

They had made a few more substitutions with this batch.  Belle had read that dandelion roots were hardier and could be useful in changing the simple locating potion for things lost long ago and beetle eyes could increase the distance see.  There weren’t that many options now.  Any day now the Queen was going to come and demand her Curse.  They didn’t have that much time to find another way. 

The potion turned red. 

With a cry of rage, he tried to rush forward, wishing to knock the false hope away. Belle held on tightly to his hand forcing herself to stand so she had a better grip. "I could have just miscalculated the time it needs to simmer.”

“Or it’s another failure,"  He glanced at her once before glaring back at the potion.  "You haven’t been at this as long as I have.  I’m never going to see him again for anything less than a curse.”

She hated herself for saying it, hating that she had to crush the last hope he had.  “What if the curse didn’t work?  You’ve said so yourself it’s highly volatile." 

He pulled himself back.  "I’ve seen it working." 

"The future is not set in stone. Your visions change.  And anyway, too much is dependent on the Queen’s charity." 

"Snow White and Charming’s daughter is going to break the curse!  Nothing is dependent on charity!" 

"That girl doesn’t even exist yet!  We’ve just dealt with a hysterical Snow begging to forget him.  We have no guarantees-”

“I don’t need guarantees!  I need to find my son!"  He yelled and broke free, smashing his hand into the cauldron, the unsatisfactory goo spilling and dousing the flame.  "The Blue Fairy said a curse would work!" 

Belle’s mind reeled.  She had heard of the Blue Fairy and her opinion wasn’t very high.   After calling for assistance, the Orange Fairy had spluttered, "Blue would never allow me to interfere in your affairs.  We must give you chance on your own."  The next day, the west portion of the wall had been demolished and three buildings had been flattened killing 10 soldiers and nearly two-dozen children.  Her mother had died only a few days later.

"When did she say that?"  If Blue wasn’t willing to help a small kingdom despite being asked by someone pure of heart, why would she help the Dark One, the supposed epitome of evil?  Belle had heard his rants on the fairies; he didn’t care for them either. 

"Long ago, but that doesn’t matter.  She said it would work."  He took the knife and dug it deep into the cutting board. 

Belle rested her hand on his before lifting it and moving their now intertwined hands to rest in between them.   "I just don’t understand why a fairy would encourage such a curse." 

"You can always ask them. I don’t pretend to understand their twisted minds." 

"I will." 

He looked down at her.

"This curse is dangerous and cruel and it takes too long.  We’ll be forced to wait twenty-eight years.  If it’s going to help get your son back, I’ll do anything, but there has to be a better way." 

His arms wrapped around her and she nestled closer.  “I wouldn’t trust her around you.”

“I’ll be fine.  I just have to figure about how to ask her.”

His face dropped.  “You’ll have to leave the castle and call on her.  She’ll never respond if you’re here.” 

She rested her hand on his shoulder.  “She still might not respond.  You said she could tell who had been touched by darkness?”

Rumplestiltskin smiled as if she was talking nonsense,  “You’re not darkness.  You’re light, Belle, a flicker of light amidst an ocean of darkness.” 

She blushed a violent red and pulled him closer, not allowing herself to cross any more boundaries.  They were moving slowly.  They spoke openly and he was much more willing to initiate touch.  But Belle had never done this before and in a way he was grieving and would continue to grieve until his son was back in front of him.  So even if her head was screaming for her to at least try and kiss him, Belle pulled away.    “I won’t be gone long.” 

“I’ll be counting the hours.” 

* * *

This had to far enough away.  She was far enough into the woods that she could no longer see the castle or even the path.  If the Blue Fairy didn’t respond, she could just continue walking. 

"Reul Ghorm!” Belle hated the way her voice sounded as she called into the darkness.  She was not weak and she would not be afraid of some fairy.  “Reul Ghorm!” Belle shouted again.  

“I’m here, child."  The little blue fairy flew out from behind her.  Belle’s breath caught for a second.  Could she really trick one of the oldest magic users in existence?

Belle made a show of looking at the ground bashfully, "Are you able to help me?" 

"I can help."  The fairy flew closer and Belle resisted the urge to cringe.  This women had been playing God for so long she had forgotten about the casualties. 

"I need to escape." 

The fairy was directly in front of her now.  "I can sense his darkness on you.  But I’m afraid I cannot help you. I do not have the power to interfere in his deals." 

"No!"  Belle waved her hand frantically.  The fairy had to stay.  "I don’t need you to break the deal.  He has already broken it.”

The Blue Fairy interrupted, “I know the Dark One, child."  She emphasized the title as if a few encounters over the course of a couple hundred years could really compare to the intimate conversations of the last year.  "He has only ever broken one deal.”

Belle bit her lip.  “Well, now he has broken two,” she looked at the fairy as if daring her to argue again.  “He let me go.  He dealt for forever and then he just let me go."  Belle tried to make the words sound harsh, but even to her ears they rung hollow.  She sunk to the ground, digging her hands into the grass. 

The Blue Fairy landed on a small rock in front of her.  "What are you asking for?" 

They had prepared an answer to that question, one they hoped would force Blue to hand over another bean or anything else to get them to the land without magic.  "Protection." 

"Child, that is not what you want, not why you called me here." 

Belle looked up.  "I don’t understand what you mean." 

"There is no need to play coy.  I know what you want and I cannot grant it." 

"What do I want then, Reul Ghorm?"  Belle threw herself to her feet in pure indignation.

The blue ball of fury flew uncomfortably close to her face. Belle was forced to cross her eyes to see her properly, but she refused to take a step backward. 

"He promised you freedom for the bean!" 

 Belle took a step forward and watched in delight as the menace was forced to frantically fly backward.  "I’ll have you know he did no such thing.” Her glower turned into an almost predatory smile as if she was the one with hundreds of years of magic at her disposal. “I am here on my own accord.  He did not even want me to come, but I’m sure he would be thrilled to hear you have a bean." 

Blue raised her hand as if perfectly innocent.  "I couldn’t possibly have a bean.  So unfortunately I cannot help you."  She began to fly away. 

 Belle jumped in an attempt to stop her, but her small stature prevented her from even getting close.  "No!  You have to!  He’s perfected the curse!" 

 The Blue Fairy stopped mid-flight.  "That’s impossible." 

"It’s done.  He only has to wait a few more years for the caster to be ready,” Belle said solemnly. 

Belle watched as the Blue Fairy visibly gulped.  “He has picked someone already." 

Belle nodded. "The woman is over at the castle frequently. She has already picked up some of his flair.  I’m sure you would recognize the Evil Queen’s handiwork." 

"This is worse than I originally thought.  I had presumed we would have another hundred years at least."  

"A desperate soul would do anything." 

The Blue Fairy stared at her once again, "And what would you do?” At Belle’s look of confusion, she continued.  “What would you be willing to do to get what you needed?”

 Belle paused.  She wasn’t entirely sure how to answer that.  Belle was happy with a home and Rumplestiltskin.  The problem wasn’t what she needed; it was he needed.  She needed his happiness as if it were her own, and that wasn’t possible without finding Bae.  

“I’ve sacrificed myself once already to safe my family and friends.  I would be willing to do it again.”

“Traveling to a new world is not a sacrifice you need to make." 

Belle’s heart leapt at that.  She was going to get the bean.  "Saving someone you love is never truly a sacrifice. " 

 The blue fairy laughed.  "Do not delude yourself.  He is beastly in more than just appearance.  The Dark One is incapable of love." 

 Belle’s mind flashed to one of his shy smiles.  Maybe the Dark One wasn’t capable of love, but her Rumplestiltskin certainly was.  "I’m sorry to say I’ll have to disagree with you.  Besides this is for the greater good!"  Belle saw her last two words shake the fairy’s resolve.

"I was speaking the truth when I said I had no bean to give you." 

 "But why-" 

 "You shouldn’t shatter your life for an illusion of love-”

 "It’s not an illusion!“ 

 "And in order to be sure the curse is not cast you would have to leave this realm with him." 

 Belle wasted no time.  "What do I need to do?”

 The Blue Fairy closed her eyes as if this was against her better judgment.  “There is tree connected to the land without magic…”

* * *

The Blue Fairy left Belle with a map to the tree and a warning to contact the fairies if anything went wrong so they could make preparations.  The second she was gone, Belle started shouting, “Rumplestiltskin!” 

He appeared in a cloud of smoke, but he stumbled toward her before he was even properly oriented.  “Are you alright?  Did she hurt you?”  He did not wait for her to respond instead inspecting her.  He held her gently, his hands inching down from her shoulders until he was holding her hands awkwardly as she still held the map. 

“I’m wonderful Rumple.” 

A grin spread on to his face as well.  “You got it?” 

“Not a bean but,” Belle brandished the rolled up parchment, “a way to the Land Without Magic that doesn’t involve killing anyone.  But more importantly,” Belle decided to ignore the little voice in her head screaming for her to be cautious.  She laid a hand on his cheek.  “We can leave right away.”  

“You’re coming?”  His voice cracked mid-word.  He obviously hadn’t thought about what would happen to her.  She shouldn’t have raised her hopes so much. 

“If you’ll have me,” Her reply was almost impossible to hear.  Belle spoke of commanding her own fate, but she knew she couldn’t force this.  Her heart was already breaking at the thought of being forever separated from him, but she also knew that there were some things you couldn’t force.

“I-I would like that very much,” Rumplestiltskin stuttered staring at her as if he still couldn’t believe she existed. 

“Good because I couldn’t bare to imagine leaving.  It would break my heart.” 

“And we wouldn’t want that.  I’m afraid broken hearts are a thing even magic can’t fix.” 

Belle smirked.  “Well as long as you don’t break it.  I don’t think we’ll have a problem.” 

She wasn’t sure who moved first but suddenly their lips were touching.  It had been all Belle craved for sometime now, but the reality of his lips on hers was electrifying.  They were soft, reverent, but also desperate, as if he too couldn’t believe this was happening.  She smiled as she kissed him only opening her eyes when he pulled away. 

“Rumple what’s going on?” Belle stared in shock as his scaly features began to melt away.  “I don’t understand.” 

He reached up and felt his face.  “The curse it’s breaking.”  His beautiful brown eyes were filled with wonder as they sought hers.  “Do you know what that means?” 

Belle shook her head, not entirely focusing on his words.  He had stopped changing, but she couldn’t rid the image from her mind.  She knew he had been a man once, but to know it and see it were very different things. 

“It means it’s True Love.” 

True Love was a thing Belle had only ever heard of in stories.  It was for perfect knights and dainty princesses, simple romances that had never held her interests.  She had never thought the term would be something that could ever apply to her. 

But her love was so much more than a fantasy. Rumplestiltskin loved her in return.  It was True Love.   

 She happily kissed him again.  


End file.
